100 fortune cookie sayings funny

1. "You will soon be surrounded by good friends and cheap wine."

2. "You will find true love on a dating app... eventually."

3. "Your luck will change... for better or for worse."

4. "A squirrel will steal your lunch tomorrow."

5. "You will discover a hidden talent for interpretive dance."

6. "Your socks will mysteriously disappear in the laundry."

7. "You will receive a surprise visit from a long-lost relative."

8. "A cheesy pickup line will actually work for you."

9. "You will accidentally butt-dial your crush."

10. "Your next meal will be the best you've ever had... until the heartburn kicks in."

11. "You will win a staring contest with a cat."

12. "A bird will poop on your head... but it's good luck, right?"

13. "You will find a dollar on the ground... and promptly lose it in a vending machine."

14. "You will accidentally send a text to the wrong person... and it will be hilarious."

15. "You will discover a new favorite song... and play it on repeat until everyone hates it."

16. "You will trip over nothing and pretend it was intentional."

17. "You will have a sudden craving for pickles at 3 am."

18. "You will meet a mysterious stranger who will change your life... by recommending a great taco place."

19. "You will find the perfect pair of shoes... but they will be one size too small."

20. "You will have a sudden urge to break out into song in a public place."

21. "You will accidentally like your crush's old Instagram post... from three years ago."

22. "You will invent a new dance move that will sweep the nation... in your dreams."

23. "You will win a game of rock-paper-scissors... against yourself."

24. "You will discover a new favorite snack... and eat the entire bag in one sitting."

25. "You will have a sudden realization that you are, in fact, a cat person."

26. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not on the box."

27. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly lose it in a couch cushion."

28. "You will have a sudden urge to start a podcast about conspiracy theories."

29. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing socks."

30. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you've never tried before... and it will become your new favorite."

31. "You will accidentally like your ex's new partner's post... oops."

32. "You will discover a hidden talent for juggling... but only with one sock."

33. "You will find a four-leaf clover... and promptly lose it in a book."

34. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and spend hours trying to decipher it."

35. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to play the accordion."

36. "You will accidentally send a text meant for your best friend to your boss."

37. "You will discover a new favorite TV show... and binge-watch it in one weekend."

38. "You will win a staring contest with a mirror."

39. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you haven't eaten since childhood."

40. "You will accidentally like your crush's significant other's post... yikes."

41. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly spend it on a vending machine."

42. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing glitter."

43. "You will have a sudden urge to start a band... even though you can't play any instruments."

44. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not intended."

45. "You will discover a hidden talent for hula hooping... but only with one arm."

46. "You will find a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside... and both will be about socks."

47. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and decide it's a sign to order takeout."

48. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to speak Klingon."

49. "You will accidentally send a text meant for your boss to your best friend."

50. "You will discover a new favorite book... and read it in one sitting."

51. "You will win a staring contest with a goldfish."

52. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you've never heard of before."

53. "You will accidentally like your ex's new partner's post... again."

54. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly lose it in a purse."

55. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing a rubber chicken."

56. "You will have a sudden urge to start a knitting club... even though you can't knit."

57. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not what you expected."

58. "You will discover a hidden talent for tap dancing... but only in flippers."

59. "You will find a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside... and both will be about cats."

60. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and decide it's a sign to take a nap."

61. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to play the kazoo."

62. "You will accidentally send a text meant for your best friend to your crush."

63. "You will discover a new favorite movie... and watch it on repeat for a week."

64. "You will win a staring contest with a penguin."

65. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you've never tried before... and it will become your new obsession."

66. "You will accidentally like your crush's significant other's post... for the third time."

67. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly spend it on a gumball machine."

68. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing a rubber duck."

69. "You will have a sudden urge to start a ukulele band... even though you can't play the ukulele."

70. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not what you wanted."

71. "You will discover a hidden talent for breakdancing... but only in roller skates."

72. "You will find a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside... and both will be about pickles."

73. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and decide it's a sign to order pizza."

74. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to speak Dothraki."

75. "You will accidentally send a text meant for your boss to your crush's significant other."

76. "You will discover a new favorite hobby... and spend all your free time on it."

77. "You will win a staring contest with a sloth."

78. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you've never heard of before... and it will become your new addiction."

79. "You will accidentally like your ex's new partner's post... once more."

80. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly lose it in a jacket pocket."

81. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing a rubber snake."

82. "You will have a sudden urge to start a polka band... even though you can't play the accordion."

83. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not what you expected... again."

84. "You will discover a hidden talent for yodeling... but only in the shower."

85. "You will find a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside... and both will be about tacos."

86. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and decide it's a sign to watch Netflix."

87. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to play the bagpipes."

88. "You will accidentally send a text meant for your best friend to your crush's significant other... oh no."

89. "You will discover a new favorite podcast... and listen to every episode in one day."

90. "You will win a staring contest with a statue."

91. "You will have a sudden craving for a food you've never tried before... and it will become your new obsession."

92. "You will accidentally like your crush's significant other's post... for the umpteenth time."

93. "You will find a lucky penny... and promptly spend it on a lottery ticket."

94. "You will receive a mysterious package in the mail... containing a rubber spider."

95. "You will have a sudden urge to start a kazoo band... even though you can't play the kazoo."

96. "You will accidentally dye your hair a color that was not what you wanted... once more."

97. "You will discover a hidden talent for beatboxing... but only while eating a sandwich."

98. "You will find a fortune cookie with two fortunes inside... and both will be about unicorns."

99. "You will receive a cryptic message from a fortune cookie... and decide it's a sign to take a bubble bath."

100. "You will have a sudden urge to learn how to speak Elvish."

Above is 100 fortune cookie sayings funny.

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