Akpos funny sayings

1. "I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom, and she said 'yes, but first solve this math problem.' So I peed on myself and said 'I solved the problem!'"

2. "I told my boss I needed a day off because I was sick. He asked me how sick I was, so I told him I was so sick that I couldn't even come to work to get the sick note from the doctor."

3. "I tried to lose weight by cutting out carbs, but then I realized that pizza is a carb. So now I just eat pizza with a side of regret."

4. "I went to the doctor and he told me I was overweight. I said, 'I want a second opinion.' He said, 'okay, you're ugly too.'"

5. "I asked my crush if she believed in love at first sight. She said 'no, but I believe in love at first text message.' So I texted her 'I love you' and she blocked me."

6. "I tried to impress a girl by telling her I was a vegetarian. She said 'that's cool, I'm a Sagittarius.' I said 'I'm a Capricorn, but I can still eat meat.'"

7. "I tried to be a vegetarian, but then I realized that bacon exists. So now I'm a bacon-atarian."

8. "I told my mom I wanted to be a comedian. She said 'you're not funny.' I said 'I know, that's why I need to practice.'"

9. "I asked my dad for money and he said 'money doesn't grow on trees.' So I planted a dollar bill and now I have a money tree."

10. "I tried to impress a girl by telling her I was a professional chef. She asked me to cook her dinner, so I ordered takeout and put it on a fancy plate. She said 'this tastes like McDonald's.' I said 'that's because I'm a professional chef at McDonald's.'"

Above is Akpos funny sayings.