Comedians sayings

1. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown

2. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright

3. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield

4. "I'm not sure if I actually have free time or if I'm just forgetting everything I'm supposed to be doing." - Demetri Martin

5. "I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire." - Howard Hughes

6. "I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'" - Phyllis Diller

7. "I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already." - Tommy Cooper

8. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." - Forrest Gump

9. "I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago." - Will Rogers

10. "I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce." - Lenny Bruce

Above is Comedians sayings.

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