Dark humor quotes and sayings

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."

2. "I'm not saying my ex is a gold digger, but she did ask me to bury her with all my money."

3. "I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, 'Sure, knock yourself out.'"

4. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."

5. "I told my therapist about my fear of being buried alive. She said, 'Don't worry, it's not like it's going to happen twice.'"

6. "I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes."

7. "I'm not saying my family is dysfunctional, but we put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'."

8. "I told my boss I have a fear of work. He said, 'Don't worry, it's only temporary.'"

9. "I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me."

10. "I asked my wife if she ever cheats on me. She said, 'Why would I cheat when I can just leave?'"

Above is Dark humor quotes and sayings.