Extremely funny quotes and sayings

1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield

2. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright

3. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to find the floor before the rest of the world does." - Unknown

4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown

5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode." - Unknown

6. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." - Unknown

7. "I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them." - Unknown

8. "I'm not a player, I just crush a lot." - Big Pun

9. "I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people." - Unknown

10. "I'm not a smart aleck, I'm a skilled conversationalist." - Unknown

Above is Extremely funny quotes and sayings.

Gaelic sayings in gaelic

1. Is minic a bhris béal duine a shrón. (A person's mouth often breaks their nose.)2. Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin. (There's no hearth like your own hearth.)3. Is fearr Gaeilge briste, ná Béarla cliste. (Broken Irish is better than clever English.)4. Mol an óige agus tiocfaidh sí. (P

Groucho marx sayings and quotes

1. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.2. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.3. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.4. Time fli

Personalized mugs with sayings

Personalized mugs with sayings are a great way to add a personal touch to your morning coffee or tea routine. Here are a few ideas for sayings you could consider for your personalized mug:1. Coffee and love are best when hot.2. Rise and grind.3. Sip happens.4. But first, coffee.5. Life begi

Cute sayings to but on bunting

1. Love is in the air2. You are my sunshine3. Sweet dreams4. Adventure awaits5. Let's celebrate6. Home sweet home7. Happy days8. Smile, it's contagious9. You are my happy place10. Good vibes only

Funny eyeglass sayings

1. I see you looking at me through those glasses, but are you really seeing me?2. I'm so nearsighted, I thought that was a person, not a tree.3. I can't see without my glasses, but I can't find my glasses without my glasses.4. My glasses are like my superhero mask, they give me the power to s

Cute rustic sayings

1. Live simply, love deeply.2. Home is where the heart is.3. Bloom where you are planted.4. Cherish the simple things in life.5. Let your light shine.6. Rustic charm, modern heart.7. Simplify, simplify, simplify.8. Take the road less traveled.9. Find joy in the journey.10. Embrace

Bigfoot sayings

1. Leave only footprints, take only memories.2. The forest is my home, respect it as you would your own.3. In the quiet of the woods, you may find peace.4. Listen to the whispers of the trees, they hold ancient wisdom.5. Walk softly and carry a big stick, for the forest is full of surprises

32 years old sayings

1. Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.2. Life begins at 32, it's never too late to start living your dreams.3. At 32, you're in the prime of your life, make the most of it.4. 32 years old and still fabulous, age is just a number.5. Embrace the wisdom that come

Sayings for retirement party invitations

1. It's time to bid farewell to the daily grind and hello to relaxation! Join us in celebrating [Name]'s retirement.2. After years of hard work, it's time to kick back and enjoy the good life. Come celebrate with us at [Name]'s retirement party!3. Join us in honoring [Name] as they embark on a

Baseball sayings for birthdays

1. Hope your birthday hits it out of the park!2. May your birthday be a grand slam!3. Wishing you a home run of a birthday!4. Another year older, another year closer to the Hall of Fame!5. May your birthday be a real 'hit' with all your friends and family!6. Stepping up to the plate for a