Father guido sarducci sayings

Father Guido Sarducci, a fictional character created and portrayed by comedian Don Novello, is known for his humorous and satirical sayings. Here are a few popular ones:

1. "The best way to look thin is to hang out with fat people."

2. "It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick."

3. "You know, the Pope, he don't like to travel. He don't like to fly. He don't like to go nowhere. You know why? He's afraid of Heaven."

4. "The Vatican is a big place. It's like a big corporation. They got a lot of money. They got a lot of real estate. They got a lot of buildings. They got a lot of employees. They got a lot of customers. They got a lot of shareholders. They got a lot of stock options. They got a lot of lawsuits."

5. "You know, I was thinking about becoming a priest, but then I realized I'd have to give up my day job."

6. "I always say, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And if you can't join 'em, then beat 'em.'"

7. "You know, the key to happiness is low expectations. That's why I'm always so happy."

8. "I always say, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when life gives you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.'"

9. "You know, they say money can't buy happiness. But I say, 'Give me a million dollars and let me find out for myself.'"

10. "I always say, 'If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.'"

Above is Father guido sarducci sayings.