Funniest quotes and sayings ever

1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield

2. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown

3. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright

4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode." - Unknown

5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown

6. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just gravity-challenged." - Unknown

7. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." - Unknown

8. "I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people." - Unknown

9. "I'm not a player, I just crush a lot." - Big Pun

10. "I'm not a complete idiot, there are some parts missing." - Unknown

Above is Funniest quotes and sayings ever.

Battleblock theater sayings

1. Don't touch my gems!2. Time to throw down!3. Watch out for those cats!4. I'm gonna make you pay for that!5. You're in for a world of hurt!6. Prepare to be block-ified!7. I'll show you who's boss!8. You can't handle my skills!9. I'm gonna wreck you!10. Let the battle begin!

Banjo funny sayings

1. I'm not a banjo player, I just have a really big thumb.2. Banjo players do it with strings attached.3. Banjo players have all the right strings attached.4. Banjo players pick it up and pluck it out.5. Banjo players have a knack for strumming up a good time.6. Banjo players have a picki

Eyes heart arabic sayings

Here are some Arabic sayings related to the heart and eyes:1. عين الحب ترى بوضوح (The eye of love sees clearly)2. قلبي يرى بعينيك (My heart sees through your eyes)3. عيناك مرآة قلبي (Your eyes are the mirror of my heart)4. القلب يعرف الحقيقة من خلال العيون (The heart knows the truth through

Funny sayings about politics

1. Politicians are like diapers, they both need to be changed regularly and for the same reason.2. In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.3. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.4. Politicians and diape

Cute kindergarten sayings

1. I love you to the moon and back!2. I'm a big kid now!3. I'm as strong as a superhero!4. I can do it all by myself!5. I'm the king/queen of the playground!6. I have a heart full of glitter and rainbows!7. I'm a little artist in the making!8. I'm a professional toy tester!9. I'm a

Sayings about women's month

1. Here's to strong women: may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.2. Empowered women empower women.3. A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt4. Behind every successful woman is herself.5. Women are the rea

Aunt lydia sayings

1. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.2. Praise be, for the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.3. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.4. The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?5. Let your light so shine before

Happy life sayings

1. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. - Dalai Lama2. The purpose of our lives is to be happy. - Dalai Lama3. Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. - Ralph Marston4. The happiest people don't have the

Good morning wishes beautiful sayings

1. May your day be filled with joy, love, and positivity. Good morning!2. Wake up with a grateful heart and embrace the beauty of a new day. Good morning!3. Every morning is a new beginning, a chance to start fresh and make today amazing. Good morning!4. Sending you sunshine and smiles to bri

Game of thrones house names and sayings

House Stark: Winter is ComingHouse Lannister: Hear Me RoarHouse Targaryen: Fire and BloodHouse Baratheon: Ours is the FuryHouse Greyjoy: We Do Not SowHouse Martell: Unbowed, Unbent, UnbrokenHouse Tyrell: Growing StrongHouse Arryn: As High as HonorHouse Tully: Family, Duty, HonorHou