Funny airplane pilot sayings

1. "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts. Or don't, it's your funeral."

2. "Welcome aboard flight 123, where the turbulence is free of charge."

3. "If you look out the window on the left, you'll see our competitors trying to keep up with us."

4. "In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. Or as a very stylish hat."

5. "We'll be cruising at an altitude of 35,000 feet, or as I like to call it, 'the perfect selfie height'."

6. "Please refrain from smoking in the lavatory, as the smoke detectors are very sensitive. Trust me, I found out the hard way."

7. "Attention passengers, we have reached our cruising altitude and the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign. Feel free to move about the cabin, but please don't breakdance in the aisles."

8. "If you look out the window and see something that looks like a UFO, don't worry, it's just the flight attendant trying to do her job."

9. "We'll be landing shortly, so please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are in their full upright and locked position. And if you have any snacks left, feel free to share with the crew."

10. "Thank you for flying with us today. If you enjoyed the flight, my name is Captain Awesome. If you didn't, my name is Captain Boring."

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