Funny bible sayings

1. "Thou shalt not steal...unless it's your roommate's last slice of pizza."

2. "Love thy neighbor as thyself, but maybe don't borrow their lawnmower without asking first."

3. "Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall have a gouda time."

4. "Man cannot live on bread alone, but a good slice of garlic bread comes pretty close."

5. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, unless they cut you off in traffic, then feel free to give them a piece of your mind."

6. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...except for maybe a new iPhone."

7. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, but maybe consider a game of dodgeball instead."

8. "Ask, and it shall be given to you...unless it's the last cookie in the jar, then you're on your own."

9. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son...and a coupon for eternal salvation."

10. "And lo, Jesus said unto them, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life...but I still can't figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.'"

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