Funny biblical sayings

1. "Thou shalt not steal...unless it's your roommate's last slice of pizza."

2. "Love thy neighbor as thyself, but maybe give them a heads up before you borrow their lawnmower."

3. "The Lord works in mysterious ways, but sometimes I wish He'd just send a text message."

4. "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape when plans change."

5. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, unless they cut you off in traffic, then feel free to give them a piece of your mind."

6. "Man does not live by bread alone, but a good slice of garlic bread is pretty close."

7. "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a teenager to wake up before noon on a Saturday."

8. "Judge not, lest ye be judged...unless it's a reality TV show, then judge away."

9. "Ask, and it shall be given unto you...unless it's the last cookie, then you better move fast."

10. "The meek shall inherit the earth, but the early bird gets the worm...so it's a tough call."

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