Funny quotes sayings and phrases
1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield
2. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright
3. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott
4. "I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." - Emo Philips
5. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." - Unknown
6. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." - Unknown
7. "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure." - Unknown
8. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy-saving mode." - Unknown
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
10. "I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way." - Unknown
Above is Funny quotes sayings and phrases.
1. A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be her daddy's best friend.2. A father holds his daughter's hand for a short while, but he holds her heart forever.3. Daddy's little girl, forever and always.4. A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.5. Daddy's l
1. I think fame is a bit of a burden. It's a bit of a responsibility. You have to behave in a certain way. You have to be on your best behavior all the time.2. I've always been a great believer in the power of music. Music can touch people's hearts in a way that words alone can't.3. I'm a real
1. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day.2. Gone but never forgotten.3. In loving memory of a life so beautifully lived.4. Forever in our hearts.5. Your memory is a treasure we will always hold dear.6. Although we cannot see you, we know you are always with us.7. Yo
1. I'm not perfect, just forgiven.2. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.3. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.4. I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged.5. I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode.6. I'm not old, I'm a classic.7. I'm not bossy, I just
Here are some popular sayings and quotes by the comedian Katt Williams:1. You gotta be able to smile through the bullshit.2. I'm not a star, I'm a comedian. And I don't want to be a star.3. You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that to everything.4. I don't argue
1. You are what you eat.2. Eat well, live well.3. Healthy eating is a key to a healthy lifestyle.4. Nourish your body, it's the only place you have to live.5. Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.6. Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.7. An apple a day keeps t
1. Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day. - Unknown2. The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. - Audrey Hepburn3. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the
1. Divide and conquer.2. Fortune favors the bold.3. Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.4. In war, the moral is to the physical as three is to one.5. The best defense is a good offense.6. Opportunities multiply as they are seized.7. A
1. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.2. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.3. I'm not a morning person, I'm not an afternoon person, I'm not an evening person. I'm just not a person.4. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.5. I'm not a control freak, but can
1. Rise and shine, it's a brand new day!2. Good morning, world! Let's make today amazing.3. Start your day with a smile and positive vibes.4. Every morning is a fresh start, make it count.5. Embrace the day with gratitude and joy.6. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.7.