Hilarious sayings humor one liners

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."

2. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."

3. "I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

4. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

5. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."

6. "I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it."

7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."

8. "I used to be a banker, but I lost interest."

9. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

10. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

Above is Hilarious sayings humor one liners.

Beach sayings decals black and white

Here are some beach sayings that would make great decals in black and white:1. Life's a beach2. Sandy toes and salty kisses3. Seas the day4. Beach please5. Salt in the air, sand in my hair6. Mermaid kisses and starfish wishes7. Let the sea set you free8. Sun, sand, and surf9. Ocean

Christmas light sayings

1. Let your light shine bright this Christmas season.2. May your Christmas be merry and bright with twinkling lights.3. The magic of Christmas is in the glow of the lights.4. May your home be filled with the warmth of Christmas lights.5. Christmas lights are a reminder that even in the dark

Guy fieri quotes and sayings

1. I always tell people, live your life with flavor.2. Cooking is all about people. Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people get together to eat.3. I always say, 'Don't let the noise

Pimp quotes and sayings

1. I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man. - Jay-Z2. It's not about the money, it's about the power. - Unknown3. I'd rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5. - Unknown4. Success is the best revenge. - Kanye West5. I'm not a player, I just crush a lot. - Big Pun6. I'm living my best life,

Soup to nuts similar sayings

From start to finishFrom A to ZFrom beginning to endCovering all the basesThe whole shebangThe full montyThe whole enchiladaThe whole kit and caboodleThe whole nine yards

Funny vintage sayings

1. Well, butter my biscuit!2. Don't take any wooden nickels.3. Heavens to Betsy!4. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.5. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.6. Happy as a clam at high water.7. Close, but no cigar.8. Don't count your chickens before they hatc

Ben okri quotes sayings

1. The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering. 2. The only thing that can save the world is the reclaiming of the awareness of the world. That's what poetry does. 3. We plan our lives according

Duck dynasty famous sayings

1. Happy, happy, happy.2. That's a fact, Jack!3. Hey, Jack!4. Work hard, nap hard.5. Redneck logic.6. It's like trying to baptize a cat.7. You can't fix stupid.8. I'm about as happy as a tornado in a trailer park.9. I'm like a beaver on a log.10. When in doubt, frog it out.

Sayings about food for men

1. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.2. Real men cook and appreciate good food.3. A man who can cook is a man who can take care of himself.4. Food is fuel for the body, and real men know how to fuel up right.5. A man who enjoys good food is a man who knows how to enjoy life.6

Religious holiday card sayings

1. May the blessings of [religious figure] be with you this [holiday] season.2. Wishing you peace, love, and joy in the spirit of [religious holiday].3. May your heart be filled with the light of [religious figure] this [holiday].4. Sending you warm wishes for a blessed and joyous [holiday] c