Jack handy sayings

1. "I'd rather be rich than stupid."

2. "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other."

3. "If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone."

4. "It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."

5. "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."

6. "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

7. "I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality."

8. "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad."

9. "I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."

10. "When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."

Above is Jack handy sayings.