Jokes quotes and sayings

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."

2. "I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down."

3. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."

4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."

5. "I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'"

6. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

7. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."

9. "I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way."

10. "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

Above is Jokes quotes and sayings.

Sleep tight sayings

1. Sweet dreams and goodnight.2. Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.3. Rest well and dream sweetly.4. May your dreams be peaceful and your sleep be deep.5. Wishing you a restful night's sleep.6. Close your eyes and drift off to dreamland.7. May you wake up refreshed and ready for a

Creepy witch sayings

1. Beware the cackling of the witch, for it foretells your doom.2. In the shadows, the witch's curse lingers, waiting to strike.3. Whispers in the night, the witch's spell takes flight.4. Cross the path of the witch, and your fate is sealed.5. The witch's gaze pierces through the darkness,

Funny cheesecake sayings

1. Life is short, eat the cheesecake first.2. Cheesecake: because no great story ever started with a salad.3. Cheesecake: the answer to all of life's problems.4. Cheesecake: the dessert that always takes the cake.5. In a world full of muffins, be a cheesecake.6. Cheesecake: the only love

Irish sayings funny short

1. May the road rise up to meet you, but not too quickly.2. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.3. May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my grandmother's teeth.4. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.5. May the cat eat you and may the devil

Polish sayings in english

1. Not my circus, not my monkeys. - Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy.2. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - Lepszy wróbel w garści niż gołąb na dachu.3. Every cloud has a silver lining. - Nie ma tego złego, co by na dobre nie wyszło.4. The early bird catches the worm. - Kto rano wstaj

Cute sayings wallpapers for mobile

Here are some cute sayings wallpapers for your mobile:1. You are my sunshine.2. Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.3. Love is all you need.4. Good vibes only.5. You are loved more than you know.6. Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright.7. Stay wild, moon child.8. Happiness looks gorg

Old greetings sayings

1. Good day to you!2. How do you do?3. Greetings and salutations!4. Peace be with you.5. May the day bring you joy.6. Blessings upon you.7. Hello and good morning!8. A hearty welcome to you.9. Good morrow to you, sir/madam.10. May your day be filled with happiness.

Rodeo queen sayings

1. Cowgirl up!2. Ride it like you stole it!3. Kick up your heels and show 'em how it's done!4. Saddle up and let's rodeo!5. Buckle up, buttercup!6. Rodeo queen by day, cowgirl by night.7. Hats off, boots on, let's rodeo on!8. Spurs and sequins, that's how we roll.9. Ride with grace,

Craving sayings

1. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.2. You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that's kind of the same thing.3. Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.4. When in doubt, eat chocolate.5. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.6. Stressed spelled backwards

Tami sayings for alcoholist to give up for his daughter

1. Choose love over liquor, for your daughter's sake.2. Your daughter needs a sober role model, not a drinking one.3. Be the parent your daughter deserves, not the alcoholic she fears.4. Your daughter's future is worth more than any drink.5. Break the cycle of addiction for your daughter's