Quotes jokes funny sayings

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."

2. "I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down."

3. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."

4. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."

6. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."

7. "I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes. It's a whirlwind of emotions."

8. "I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop sending me vacation ads."

9. "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."

10. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

Above is Quotes jokes funny sayings.

Peach pie sayings funny

1. Life is just a peach pie, so dig in and enjoy the sweetness!2. Why did the peach pie go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the crumbles!3. I like my peach pie how I like my jokes - a little crusty on the outside but sweet on the inside!4. They say laughter is the best medicine, but I thin

Cute boy mom sayings

1. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.2. I love you to the moon and back.3. You are my greatest blessing.4. You make my heart full.5. I am so proud of the person you are becoming.6. You are the light of my life.7. I love you more than words can express.8. You are my little superher

Cousins day sayings for women

1. Cousins by blood, sisters at heart.2. A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.3. Cousins are connected heart to heart, distance and time can't break them apart.4. Cousins are like stars, you may not always see them but you know they're always there.5. Cousins are the

Cute sayings for blanket adult

1. Snuggle up and stay cozy!2. Wrap yourself in warmth and comfort.3. Embrace the softness and relax.4. Let this blanket be your hug in fabric form.5. Cozy up and let your worries drift away.6. Find peace and tranquility in the embrace of this blanket.7. May this blanket be your sanctua

Funny puppy pics sayings

1. I didn't choose the pug life, the pug life chose me.2. I'm not fat, I'm just a little husky.3. I'm not a regular dog, I'm a cool dog.4. I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode.5. I'm not begging, I'm just practicing my puppy eyes.6. I'm not a morning person, I'm a morning puppy.7

Cute sayings for wrestling lucky charms

1. Wrestling with heart and a little luck!2. Charm your way to victory on the wrestling mat!3. Wrestling with a sprinkle of luck and a dash of charm!4. Lucky charms and wrestling arms - a winning combination!5. May the luck of the charm be with you on the wrestling mat!6. Wrestling with a

Funny thinking of you sayings

1. I miss you like an idiot misses the point.2. I'm thinking of you more than a squirrel thinks about nuts.3. You're always on my mind, like a catchy song that won't stop playing.4. I'm so obsessed with you, I might as well be a stalker... but a cute one.5. You're like a burrito - I can't s

Sayings using the word shade

1. Throwing shade won't make you shine any brighter.2. She's always quick to throw shade, but never stands in the sun.3. In the shade of doubt, find the light of certainty.4. The tree provides shade to those who seek refuge from the sun.5. Don't let someone's shade dim your light.

Phrases and sayings sad quotes

1. The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again. - Charles Dickens2. Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles that nobody knows about. 3. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your ene

Embracing quotes and sayings

1. Embrace the glorious mess that you are. - Elizabeth Gilbert2. Embrace the journey and leave a legacy worth remembering. - Unknown3. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible. - Mandy Hale4. Embrace the challenge of constantly pushi