Screwed up sayings

Sure, here are some humorous and nonsensical "screwed up" sayings:

1. "I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm definitely the dullest."

2. "I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but I sure know how to color outside the lines."

3. "I'm not the fastest horse in the race, but I'm definitely the slowest."

4. "I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I sure know how to flicker."

5. "I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar, but I'm definitely the stalest."

6. "I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm definitely the most buttered."

7. "I'm not the brightest star in the sky, but I sure know how to twinkle awkwardly."

8. "I'm not the smoothest operator, but I sure know how to trip over my own feet."

9. "I'm not the fastest gun in the West, but I'm definitely the most likely to shoot myself in the foot."

10. "I'm not the most organized person, but I sure know how to lose things in plain sight."

Above is Screwed up sayings.

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