Best sayings ever funny dark humor

1. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

2. "I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."

4. "I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist with experience."

5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."

6. "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath."

7. "I'm not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"

8. "I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close to it."

9. "I'm not a morning person, I'm a not-a-morning-person person."

10. "I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when emojis were called 'hieroglyphics'."

Above is Best sayings ever funny dark humor.

Sayings about patience funny

1. Patience is a virtue, but have you tried ordering takeout instead?2. I have the patience of a saint... Saint Netflix, that is.3. I'm not impatient, I just have a sense of urgency about everything.4. Patience is what you have when there are too many witnesses.5. I'm not impatient, I just

Graduation cake sayings

1. Congratulations Graduate!2. The tassel was worth the hassle!3. Dream big, work hard, and make it happen!4. You did it!5. The adventure begins!6. Follow your dreams and reach for the stars!7. Cheers to the graduate!8. The future is yours to shape.9. Well done, graduate!10. Your

Ford ranger sayings

1. Built Ford Tough.2. Ranger: The adventure begins where the road ends.3. Ranger: Small truck, big heart.4. Ranger: Ready for anything.5. Tame the wild with the Ford Ranger.6. Ranger: Tough on the outside, comfortable on the inside.7. Ford Ranger: Where capability meets style.8. Rang

I am sayings of jesus in art

That's a beautiful idea! There are many famous sayings of Jesus that have been depicted in art throughout history. Some popular ones include:- I am the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6)- Love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31)- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called c

Natural beauty sayings

1. Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran2. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. - Audrey Hepburn3. Nature's beauty is a gift that cultivates appreciation and gratitude. - Louie Schwartzberg4.

Short climate change sayings

1. Act on climate change before it changes everything.2. The Earth is getting hotter, let's cool it down.3. Climate change is real, let's make a deal.4. Reduce, reuse, recycle - for a sustainable future.5. Don't be a fossil fool, fight climate change.6. Save the Earth, it's the only plane

Funny outhouse sayings

1. Here I sit, broken-hearted, tried to poop but only farted.2. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.3. Flush carefully, it's a long way to the kitchen.4. Welcome to the throne room, where every king needs his crown.5. Please remain seated for the entire perform

Truth sayings quotes

1. The truth will set you free. - John 8:322. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson3. The truth is like a lion; you don't have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself. - Saint Augustine4. The truth is rarely pure and never simple. - Oscar Wilde5. T

Cute emo quotes and sayings

1. I'm not heartless, I've just learned how to use my heart less.2. I'm not broken, just bent. The cracks let the light in.3. I wear black not because I'm mourning, but because it's a reflection of my soul.4. I'm not a mess, I'm a beautiful disaster.5. I may be a mess, but I'm a masterpiece

Hipstet sayings

1. Live authentically, love fiercely.2. Embrace the chaos and find your peace within it.3. Be a voice, not an echo.4. Let your soul be your guide, not society's expectations.5. Find beauty in the unconventional.6. Stay wild, stay free.7. Create your own sunshine on a cloudy day.8. Dan