Funniest comedian sayings
Here are some funny comedian sayings that have become popular over the years:
1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield
2. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown
3. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright
4. "I'm not addicted to cocaine, I just like the way it smells." - Richard Pryor
5. "I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire." - Howard Hughes
6. "I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already." - Tommy Cooper
7. "I'm so old, when I was a kid rainbows were black and white." - Bob Hope
8. "I'm not sure if I have free time or if I'm just forgetting everything." - Demetri Martin
9. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." - Forrest Gump
10. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." - Unknown
Above is Funniest comedian sayings.
1. You're kneaded in my life like a massage therapist's hands.2. You're the perfect blend of relaxation and rejuvenation.3. You're my favorite kind of therapy.4. You're the knot in my life that needs unraveling.5. You're the soothing touch I always crave.6. You're the pressure point that
1. Like a rose, you bring beauty and joy to my life.2. Just as a rose symbolizes love, you are the embodiment of love in my life.3. With this rose, I offer you my heart and soul.4. In a garden full of flowers, you are the most beautiful rose.5. May this rose remind you of the love and admir
1. You don't have to brush all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep.2. A dentist gets to the root of the problem.3. Floss like a boss.4. You don't have to floss all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep.5. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.6. Life is short, smile
1. Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly paw. - Unknown2. In the winter, the warmth of a furry friend is all you need. - Unknown3. The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself. - Lao Tzu4. Wint
1. Survival of the fittest has never been more apparent than in The Darwin Project!2. The arena is unforgiving, but the competitors are even more ruthless.3. In this game, only the most cunning and skilled will emerge victorious.4. The snow may be cold, but the competition is red hot!5. Ada
1. The sun does not rise in the east, it rises in your heart. - Matshona Dhliwayo2. Every sunrise is an invitation for us to arise and brighten someone's day. - Richelle E. Goodrich3. The sun rises every morning, reminding us that we too can rise from the darkness, that we too can shine our own
1. One man's trash is another raccoon's treasure.2. Always wash your paws before dinner.3. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it just made the raccoon smarter.4. A full belly makes for a happy raccoon.5. When in doubt, climb a tree and think it over.6. Don't play with your food, unles
1. I've got your back...scratcher!2. Scratch me if you can!3. Back off, I've got a scratcher!4. Don't be a pain in the back, use a scratcher!5. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!6. Back to the scratching board!7. I'm itching for a scratch!8. Back scratcher extraordinaire!9. Scr
1. Smile, it's the best accessory you can wear.2. Life is short, make every selfie count.3. Be your own kind of beautiful.4. Happiness looks gorgeous on you.5. Confidence is the best filter.6. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into place.7. Embrace the glorious mess that yo
1. Actions speak louder than words.2. A penny saved is a penny earned.3. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.4. All good things must come to an end.5. Better late than never.6. Don't cry over spilled milk.7. A stitch in time saves nine.8. The early bird catches the worm.9. H