Funny comedians sayings
1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield
2. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright
3. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown
4. "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." - Mitch Hedberg
5. "I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire." - Howard Hughes
6. "I'm so ugly, my proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth." - Rodney Dangerfield
7. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." - Forrest Gump
8. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already." - Tommy Cooper
9. "I'm not sure if I have free time or if I'm just forgetting everything." - Demetri Martin
10. "I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle." - Mitch Hedberg
Above is Funny comedians sayings.
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