Funny jokes and sayings for adults

1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."

2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."

3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."

4. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."

5. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not an afternoon person. I'm barely even an evening person."

6. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just testing the gravity."

7. "I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship."

8. "I'm not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"

9. "I'm not saying I'm Batman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room together."

10. "I'm not old, I'm just well-seasoned."

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