Funny old wise sayings

1. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink...unless you offer it a margarita."

2. "A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched pot will definitely boil over."

3. "Don't cry over spilled milk, unless it's the last of the almond milk at the store."

4. "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

5. "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

6. "A penny saved is a penny earned, but a penny found on the ground is just good luck."

7. "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog...unless the dog is a chihuahua."

8. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the silent wheel doesn't wake up the baby."

9. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade...and add some vodka for good measure."

10. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket, unless you're really good at juggling."

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