Funny quotes and wise sayings

Sure, here are some funny quotes and wise sayings:

1. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott

2. "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache." - Marjorie Pay Hinckley

3. "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." - Terry Pratchett

4. "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain

5. "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain

6. "A day without laughter is a day wasted." - Charlie Chaplin

7. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

8. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela

9. "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates

10. "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." - Charles R. Swindoll

I hope you enjoyed these quotes!

Above is Funny quotes and wise sayings.

Funny machinist sayings

1. I'm a machinist, not a magician. I can't make your broken parts disappear.2. I make chips, not salsa.3. I'm so precise, I measure twice and cut once... and then measure again just to be sure.4. I don't always work with metal, but when I do, I make sparks fly.5. I'm a machinist, not a min

Printable coloring pages sayings

Here are some printable coloring pages with sayings that you can download and print:1. Be kind to yourself2. Dream big3. You are enough4. Choose joy5. Believe in yourself6. Love yourself7. Stay positive8. Embrace the journey9. Find beauty in every day10. You are capable of amazing

Funny back to school sayings

1. School: where sleep is a distant memory and the cafeteria food is a mystery.2. Back to school: the only time of year when you'll hear kids say they miss homework.3. I survived another year of school, and all I got was this lousy education.4. Back to school: the only place where 'I forgot m

Monty python quotes sayings

1. It's just a flesh wound. - Monty Python and the Holy Grail2. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! - Monty Python's Flying Circus3. Always look on the bright side of life. - Monty Python's Life of Brian4. I'm not dead yet! - Monty Python and the Holy Grail5. We are the knights who say

Hard working woman quotes and sayings

1. She believed she could, so she did. - Unknown2. A strong woman works hard for what she wants and never gives up. - Unknown3. The harder you work for something, the greater you'll feel when you achieve it. - Unknown4. She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of th

Best friend quotes sayings funny

1. A good friend knows all your best stories, but a best friend has lived them with you. 2. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. 3. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. 4. I'd walk through fire for my best friend.

Sex sayings for him

1. I want to be the only hand you ever need to hold.2. I crave you in ways where I just want to be close to you.3. You're the only one I want to share my bed with.4. I want to explore every inch of your body.5. You make me feel things I never knew were possible.6. I want to be tangled up

Dane cook sayings

Here are some popular sayings by comedian Dane Cook:1. I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so... close enough.2. I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even an afternoon person.3. I have a love-hate relationship with my bed. I love it in the

Sayings about great leadership

1. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. - John C. Maxwell2. Leadership is not about being in charge. It's about taking care of those in your charge. - Simon Sinek3. The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that get

Funny slogans sayings sports

1. I run like the wind...ed.2. I'm so good at sports, I could be a professional benchwarmer.3. I may not be the fastest, but I'm definitely the funniest.4. My favorite sport is napping, but I can also do a mean power walk.5. I'm not a quitter, I'm just on a permanent sports break.6. I'm n