Funny rabbi sayings

1. "If you can't say something nice, make sure it's funny."

2. "A good sermon should be like a miniskirt: long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to keep it interesting."

3. "Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? He was a man, he refused to ask for directions."

4. "The only time to look down on someone is when you're helping them up."

5. "Why do rabbis make terrible poker players? They always fold on a good hand and raise on a bad one."

6. "Remember, even Moses started out as a basket case."

7. "Why did the rabbi bring a ladder to the synagogue? He heard the service was going to be uplifting."

8. "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

9. "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, they know something."

10. "Why did the rabbi go to the bank? To check his balance, of course."

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