Funny sayings about doctors

1. "I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."

2. "Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood."

3. "I asked my doctor if I could take a selfie during my surgery. He said it was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. Now I have a selfie-stick lodged in my stomach."

4. "Doctors are just like magicians, except instead of pulling rabbits out of hats, they pull diagnoses out of thin air."

5. "My doctor told me to drink more water, so I started adding wine to it. Now I'm hydrated and happy."

6. "I told my doctor I was allergic to exercise. He said, 'Don't worry, it's a common condition called laziness.'"

7. "I asked my doctor for a second opinion. He said, 'Sure, you're ugly too.'"

8. "Why did the doctor carry a stethoscope? To listen to the heartbeats of their patients and the whispers of their own sanity."

9. "My doctor told me to avoid stress, so I stopped checking my bank account."

10. "Doctors have the best poker faces. They can tell you the most terrifying diagnosis with a straight face and then say, 'But don't worry, it's just a cold.'"

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