Funny sayings after drinking

1. "I'm not drunk, I'm just speaking in cursive."

2. "I'm not slurring my words, I'm speaking in italics."

3. "I'm not tipsy, I'm just creatively hydrated."

4. "I'm not drunk, I'm just practicing my dance moves in slow motion."

5. "I'm not under the influence, I'm just enhancing my personality."

6. "I'm not intoxicated, I'm just fluent in drunkinese."

7. "I'm not stumbling, I'm just testing gravity."

8. "I'm not drunk, I'm just on a liquid diet."

9. "I'm not seeing double, I'm just getting a 2-for-1 deal on vision."

10. "I'm not drunk, I'm just exploring the outer limits of sobriety."

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