Jesus sayings funny

Here are a few humorous sayings attributed to Jesus:

1. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own... and probably a few Mondays too."

2. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth... but let's be honest, the meek probably won't be the ones driving Lamborghinis."

3. "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God... unless that camel is on a crash diet."

4. "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you... but it's okay to block them on social media."

5. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you... but please, no solicitors."

Please note that these are meant to be lighthearted and are not direct quotes from the Bible.

Above is Jesus sayings funny.

Homely sayings short

1. Home is where the heart is.2. There's no place like home.3. Home sweet home.4. Home is the starting place of love, hope, and dreams.5. A house is made of bricks and beams, a home is made of love and dreams.6. Home is not a place, it's a feeling.7. Home is where you feel loved, apprec

Irish sayings for sisters

1. A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.2. Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.3. Sisters are like stars, you may not always see them but you know they are always there.4. Sisters share a special bond that time nor distance can break.5. A sister is a g

Curious quotes and sayings

1. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. - Steve Jobs2. The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. - Franklin D. Roosevelt3. The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Peter Drucker4. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is

Christian sayings about m

1. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:112. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. - Proverbs 3:53. I can do all things through Christ who stre

Big van vader sayings

Here are some famous sayings by the legendary wrestler Big Van Vader:1. It's Vader time!2. I fear no man, and I feel no pain!3. I'm the man that gravity forgot!4. I'm a big, bad, nasty monster!5. I'm the Mastodon, the biggest, baddest man in wrestling!6. Time to go to school, boy!7. I'm

Phrases and sayings pay his

1. He always pays his debts.2. He pays his way.3. He pays his dues.4. He pays the piper.5. He pays the price.6. He pays in full.7. He pays attention.8. He pays his respects.9. He pays his share.10. He pays for his mistakes.

Native american sayings about the environment

1. We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. - Native American Proverb2. The earth does not belong to us, we belong to the earth. - Chief Seattle3. Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. - Nati

Sayings about 70th birthday

1. Seventy years young and still going strong!2. A lifetime of memories, a heart full of wisdom, and 70 years of blessings.3. At 70, you've reached the summit of life's journey, with many more adventures still to come.4. Seventy years of laughter, love, and living life to the fullest.5. Tur

Toxic people quotes sayings

1. Surround yourself with people who make you happy. Not the ones who are toxic to your soul. - Karen Salmansohn2. Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don't hesitate. Fumigate. - Mandy Hale3. You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't

Cake box sayings wedding

1. Love is sweet, enjoy a treat!2. A slice of love for you to take home.3. Sweet beginnings for a sweet couple.4. Thank you for sharing in our special day.5. Love is the icing on the cake of life.6. May your love be as sweet as this cake.7. Indulge in love and cake.8. A sweet ending t