Sayings by ken dodd
1. "I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."
2. "I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."
3. "It's a strange world we live in when a comedian can't tell a joke without offending someone."
4. "I've seen a topless lady ventriloquist. She was rubbish, but you could see what she was thinking."
5. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
6. "I used to think I was marvellous in bed until I discovered that all my girlfriends suffered from asthma."
7. "I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it."
8. "I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
9. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
10. "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
Above is Sayings by ken dodd.
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