Short random funny quotes and sayings
1. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to test gravity."
5. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
6. "I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people."
7. "I'm not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"
8. "I'm not addicted to chocolate, we're just in a committed relationship."
9. "I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person."
10. "I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy."
Above is Short random funny quotes and sayings.
One of the famous quotes from the movie Pretty Woman is when Vivian Ward, played by Julia Roberts, says, I want the fairy tale. Another iconic line from the movie is when Vivian says, I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.
1. Quitting smoking is like winning a battle against yourself.2. Every cigarette you don't smoke saves you from a future you don't want.3. Quitting smoking is the best gift you can give to yourself.4. Don't let tobacco control your life, take back your freedom by quitting.5. Quitting smokin
1. You're the 'a-peel' of my eye.2. You drive me bananas with love.3. You make my heart go 'bananas'.4. You're my favorite 'bunch' of love.5. I'm bananas for you, Valentine.6. You're the 'split' to my banana.7. You make my heart 'melt' like chocolate on a banana.8. You're the 'top ban
1. November comes and November goes, with the last red berries and the first white snows. - Clyde Watson2. November is the month to remind us to be thankful for the many positive things happening in our lives. - Unknown3. November is the month of transformation, of falling leaves and rising spi
1. A child's birthday is a reminder that every day is a gift. 2. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake! 3. Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman 4. Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer t
1. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. - 1 Corinthians 13:42. Love one another as I have loved you. - John 13:343. Love is the bridge between you and everything. - Rumi4. Love is the greatest gift that God has given us. - 1 Corinthians 13:135.
1. When life gives you diarrhea, make sure you have a toilet nearby. 2. Diarrhea: the ultimate test of your bathroom's efficiency. 3. Diarrhea is like a storm in your stomach, leaving chaos in its wake. 4. In the battle of man vs. diarrhea, the toilet always wins. 5. Diarrhea is nature's wa
1. No uterus, no opinion.2. Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.3. It's like all my life everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!' Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know, or a hat!4. I'm not so go
1. By the power of the Light, I banish all darkness.2. May the blessings of the divine protect and guide us.3. In the name of the holy, I call forth healing and restoration.4. With faith as my shield, I stand against all evil.5. Let the radiance of the heavens illuminate our path.6. By th
1. Ironworkers don't just build buildings, we build dreams.2. Pain is temporary, pride is forever.3. We don't just work with steel, we work with determination.4. Ironworkers: where strength meets skill.5. High up in the sky, where the ironworkers fly.6. Iron sharpens iron, just like ironw