Erma bombeck sayings

1. "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

2. "Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."

3. "Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."

4. "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart."

5. "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."

6. "Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."

7. "There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo."

8. "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

9. "I

Above is Erma bombeck sayings.

Funny sayings for turning 30 years old

1. I'm not 30, I'm 29.95 plus tax!2. 30 is just 18 with 12 years of experience.3. Turning 30 is like turning 29... for the third time.4. At 30, I've finally reached the age where my body makes sounds when I bend down to tie my shoes.5. 30 is the new 20... but with more responsibilities and

Teacher assistant sayings

1. A teacher takes a hand, opens a mind, and touches a heart.2. Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.3. In teaching, you never know the impact you have on a student's life.4. Teaching is not a job, it's a calling.5. Teachers plant the seeds of knowledge that last a lifetime.6. Teachin

Oh holly night sweet sayings

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining, it is the night of our dear Savior's birth.

Funny spring day sayings

1. Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' 2. Spring: the time of year when you can't decide if you need a jacket or sunscreen. 3. Spring is a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be. 4. Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's go outside and play!' 5. Spring is the pe

Desert wisdom sayings from the desert fathers

1. Stay silent and you will never regret it.2. Do not be quick to speak, for the tongue is a powerful weapon.3. Patience is the key to all things.4. Let your actions speak louder than your words.5. In silence, God speaks.6. Do not seek to be known, seek to be worthy.7. The desert teache

Magicians sayings

1. The hand is quicker than the eye.2. Illusion is the first of all pleasures.3. Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.4. The real magic is in the performance.5. A magician is an actor playing the part of a magician.6. Magic is not about fooling

Stripper sayings

1. I didn't choose the pole life, the pole life chose me.2. I'm not just a dancer, I'm an artist.3. I make money moves, literally.4. I'm not just shaking my booty, I'm shaking up your world.5. I may be on stage, but I'm in control.6. I'm not just a fantasy, I'm a reality.7. I'm not here

Candy thank you sayings

1. Thank you for making my day sweeter with this candy!2. You're as sweet as this candy, thank you!3. This candy is a treat, just like you. Thank you!4. Your thoughtfulness is as delightful as this candy. Thank you!5. Thank you for the sweet gesture, it means a lot!6. You're a true gem, t

Cute cat sayings for cards

1. You're the cat's whiskers!2. Purr-fectly wonderful!3. You're the cat's meow!4. Feline fine with you around!5. You're purr-ty amazing!6. You're the cat's pajamas!7. Pawsitively fantastic!8. You're the cat's purr-son!9. Meowvelous to have you in my life!10. You're the cat's miaow

Anti anxiety sayings

1. Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.2. You can't control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out.3. Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.4. Breat