Funniest quotes and sayings

1. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield

2. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott, The Office

3. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Steven Wright

4. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown

5. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." - Unknown

6. "I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to test gravity." - Unknown

7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown

8. "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield

9. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode." - Unknown

10. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." - Unknown

Above is Funniest quotes and sayings.

50 sayings birthday funny

1. Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Happy birthday!2. You're not getting older, you're just increasing in value like a fine wine. Cheers to you!3. Another year older, another year wiser... or so they say. Happy birthday!4. They say age is just a number, but i

Funny payroll sayings

1. I'm not a control freak, I just want to make sure payroll is done right.2. Payroll: the only time it's acceptable to be obsessed with numbers.3. I'm not just a payroll specialist, I'm a payroll magician - making money disappear like no one else can.4. Payroll: where every penny counts, and

Love sayings hindi shayri

1. तेरे बिना जिंदगी बेमानी है, तू मेरी जिंदगी की मीठास है।2. मोहब्बत की राहों में आकर, तुझसे मिलने की आस है।3. दिल की बातें दिल से कहना, तेरी यादों में खो जाना।4. तेरी यादों की छाँव में, दिल को सुकून मिलता है।5. तेरे प्यार की राहों में, मेरी जिंदगी की राह है।

Life is full of stress & hurt & saddness sayings

1. Life is full of ups and downs, but it's how we handle the downs that define us.2. Sometimes the hardest battles are given to the strongest soldiers.3. The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.4. In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.5. The wound is the place where the li

Grandbabies sayings quotes

Here are some cute and heartwarming quotes about grandbabies:1. Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation. - Lois Wyse2. Grandchildren fill a space in your heart that you never knew was empty. - Unknown3. Grandchildren are the crown of the aged. - Proverbs

British seaside sayings

1. Don't get your knickers in a twist - Don't get upset or worried2. Mind the gap - Be careful of the space between the train and the platform3. It's blowing a gale - It's very windy4. The sun's got his hat on - It's a sunny day5. Don't be a wet blanket - Don't spoil the fun6. Spend a pen

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family sayings

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Your support means a lot to me and my family.

Real women sayings

1. I am strong because I've been weak. I am fearless because I've been afraid. I am wise because I've been foolish.2. I am a woman, phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, that's me. - Maya Angelou3. I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott4. I am a woman

Never give up love sayings

1. Love is not about giving up, it's about holding on even when things get tough.2. True love never gives up, no matter the obstacles in its way.3. When you truly love someone, you never give up on them, no matter what.4. Love is a journey that requires patience and perseverance, never give u

Adult swim sayings

1. All kids out of the pool!2. Welcome to the world of tomorrow!3. Do not attempt any of this at home.4. Brought to you by the letters F and U.5. We do not apologize for the inconvenience.6. The future is happening.7. Trust us, we're professionals.8. Your parents are sleeping, it's ti