Norm crosby sayings

Norm Crosby was a comedian known for his use of malapropisms, or the humorous misuse of words. Some of his famous sayings include:

1. "When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

2. "I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage."

3. "I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'?"

4. "I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."

5. "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

6. "I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire."

7. "I'm a great housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

8. "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

9. "I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."

10. "I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

These sayings showcase Norm Crosby's unique style of humor and wordplay.

Above is Norm crosby sayings.

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